Death and change. These are two things that are definitely going to happen no matter what. We can’t stop them, we try to slow them down, which works out sometimes but at the end of the day they will happen.
I think this is something we all know deep down, just that most of the time we are reluctant to accept that they are definitely happening. I definitely know first hand how much it hurts, it even breaks your heart to a point you feel that you cannot carry on anymore.
I used to and sometimes still do hate change. I think my very first head-to-head encounter with death and change simultaneously was when both biological parents passed on (yep I was an orphan for a little while) and then drastic changes to how my life would have turned out had to be made and I relocated from one city to another. I was so young, approximately age 5. Yeah, it hit hard. Of course I won’t justify that I knew and understood 100% everything that was going on but at that age I think I could feel that something was different. Most of my childhood was just me wanting to live in city 1 forever, and I would visit every holiday but end up crying my heart out when I have to move back to city 2 to live a totally different life.
Throughout my life I, of course, experienced death and realised what it meant especially when it was someone closest to my heart, I just wanted more time. I also experienced change, like going to a new school when I really didn’t want to at all. As a kid going through the motions, all of these things were a big deal. I never wanted to accept them. I hated those involved although I would eventually get over it or just learn to adapt but deep down my heart was still a black hole.
I don’t think anything good comes out of someone you love’s death, except maybe how people say when someone dies a new born baby is welcomed into the world (we don’t know that for sure, and also this is a cruel world). So, some of these seemingly bad (at the time) changes did have somewhat good outcomes in the end or overall. Although I didn’t see them initially because I was blinded by anger unfortunately.
I got to explore myself in different aspects which means development and growth were in existence. And I am who I am today because of how my life had panned out, the people I met, the opportunities I was granted, can’t explain why, it could be part of some grand design that it had to be this way, who knows? Depends on what and who you believe.
I learnt the harsh lesson that life moves on and it cannot wait unfortunately.
Quick story (should be funny)
I have a friend who always tells me that he hates change. The last time he told me this my response was something like:
Okay, tell me didn’t you change your clothes this morning from pyjamas to what you are wearing now?
Wasn’t progressing from 1st year to 2nd year a change (unless you want to stay in university forever)
You want a hair cut right? Meaning your hair grew and you want to change the style.
Of course he laughed at me for pointing out all these silly things that are all about change but they just happen. You can’t hate change because then it means you want to keep everything the same, but we wouldn’t like certain things remaining the same, would we?
A lesson to remember
It is going to hurt and it is going to suck; but the quicker/sooner you just accept it for what it is, it is still going to hurt and suck but it might just be less than expected. I don’t have a remedy for getting over death, and I am not saying you should, that’s difficult, but we cannot expect it to not/never happen.
A crucial human characteristic to have is that of adaptation. Adapt to the changes, find the silver lining. Feel the hurt/anger/suckingness and mourn but know that it can get better.
Death and change are inevitable, but let’s be #Royalty and accept that they are part of life.
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