The question is: If teachers qualified for the Olympics, what would we get us on the podium, winning either gold, silver or bronze? Or even breaking (inter)national records for?
I have been following the Paris Olympics and it has been wonderful, people are really doing the most and we can see the hard work and dedication that all the amazing athletes put in. Africa has a continent has had some first-time medal winners which is fantastic. Then, women overall have been doing some freaking amazing things, I acknowledge this because this is the first time in Olympic history that there is a 50/50 split in males and females at the Olympics and women are showing that they came to kickass. Also, South Africa is in celebration on women in the month of August.
Of course, social media takes it a step further by introducing Teacher Olympics. I have been laughing for days 🤣 and just wanted to share some of the content that I related to the most.
- Copy machine unjamming
I swear, copying machines really let you done at the most unwarranted time. It’s like it senses when you probably didn’t do your best planning; so instead of helping you out, it laughs in your face.
At my school, there is literally one machine that can add staples to your printing. You really need to be a copy machine whisperer to get that right. And unfortunately, very few possess the skill.
- Number of times repeating an instruction
Approximately one instruction a million times. It is usually the instruction that shows the most lack of common sense – “Stop talking while I’m speaking,” “Take out your [insert subject] book,” “Sit down,” “Quiet down/Speak softer, there is no reason to speak so loud.”
You would think after 6 months this would be just common practice. I truly believe that in a learner’s mind, they are hearing it for the first time each time. And then it completely gets erased again. Does this happen at home, too?
- Most number of pens given away
The most basic of school stationary needs. A learner will come to school without a pen, sometimes without a book. Or carelessly loses a pen at every single period.
I remember when I was in school, some teachers used to say, “It is like going to war without a gun or any armour.” I really felt that, for some reason.
It’s scary when it is a senior student whose pen runs out of ink in the middle of an exam, true story. I ask myself, what did they expect? What if I, as a teacher, didn’t have an extra pen?
- Extreme bladder control
On the one hand, it seems as though teachers drink a whole lot of coffee (sometimes tea). This is obviously a contributing factor to why we might need to go to the bathroom so often. But it the way we handle it makes our bladders lowkey powerful.
We are extremely exhausted from various things, especially when you are a part-time student. So the necessary fuel is needed. Then, at work, we have back-to-back classes to teach, and none of the classes may be left unattended. It is wild, the amount of damage a class can do in a short space of time. During school break time, you’ll probably have break duty. Leaving no time till probably after school for the basic human right of going to the bathroom, that every learner demands at every period, “Ma’am may I go to the bathroom” (asked literally 2 min into the first period, and/or 2 min after break, and/or last 2 min of the last period).
- Number of decisions made in a single period
I’ve heard that teachers make more decisions in a day than brain surgeons.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and literally feel unable. It’s deciding on the right thing to say or the right way to respond to a parent, manager, or other colleague. It is reading and sending emails. It is attending PD training and meetings. It is thinking, what is the correct measure of discipline. It is setting questions and facilitating engagement. It is remembering to substitute for a teacher who is absent. I could go on and on …
Some honourable mentions:
- Speed marking
- Completing an 11-week teaching plan in 9 weeks or less
- Spending own money on additional resources
- Giving a “teacher look” to correct learner behaviour
- Correcting language and grammar (non-langauge teachers)
What are some of “Olympic teacher” moments that you’ve stood on the podium for?
I just want to say teachers are awesome. And we really need to acknowledge that a little bit more. It might not be running a 400m or doing an entire gymnastics routine, but it sure feels like it mentally.
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