It is that time of the year again where we have now reached the end of the year! More specifically, the end of 2020. What a year it has been. We now seek a new year, a new beginning possibly. In some ways 2020 broke us, but in other ways it made us; as the saying goes “it can either make or break you”, or both. Around this time we start to reflect on all that has happened and simultaneously making plans for the future. New Year, New Me vibes.
I don’t know about you, but there were some significant breaking points this year that were extremely difficult to deal with. I am still dealing and it is going to take some time. Cliché, “Time heals all wounds”, but I don’t think we can fully be healed, we just get used to the pain and learn to co-exist with it as it becomes a part of us. Sorry, if that sounds a bit dark, but think about the scar you got from doing that one silly thing when you were younger. In my first week of grade 1, I was racing with a few friends (either on a bricked pavement or a basketball court) I fell and scraped my elbow and knees. Time healed me enough to get used to the fact that I have a scar with all its memories, I co-exist with it and it is a part of me. The same goes for emotional, mental and any other non-visible wounds.
This year I lost my granny in January, from a stroke(s) she had in December, the previous year and then an infection she got from the hospital, I think that is the real sick part – I didn’t like hospitals before, and that just put me worse off. There were so many “first without … ” moments to endure. Not a lot of people would understand but that is alright, it is inevitable.
Many people suffered the pain of losing or getting close to losing family members and loved ones from the pandemic, covid19. It is heart breaking and that might be an understatement. Many people lost their financial security, their jobs due to retrenchments and businesses shutting down etc. It has been hard on everyone in many different ways. Anxiety and depression took a huge toll on many people who might have lost all hope of life.
I too struggled to adjust at home. Whenever I thought I had it, the universe proved to me that I don’t got it. This year, showed me that I actually never knew what living at the house actually felt like, I was only ever here for holidays. I think I should go back to that routine soon. I mentioned before that this year was the first time I actually lived with my dad. It is odd for me to say, I know, but through school I was always away and even when I was around he was in a different country or I would be sent off to stay somewhere else (typical live in a suitcase situation). I hope my point is made when I say this year I was forever learning, yet I failed all the tests. This will explained further when I do a tragedy series (a project I have been thinking about).
There were some upsides to this year that definitely made me and I think a few people went through as well.
I think the most important thing that 2020 taught me was that I needed to get right with myself and who I am. I realised that over the years, when life was moving I was sort of distracted from my problems by just keeping busy. It was a little more than just a distraction, I actually enjoy learning new skills and exploring but also it was just easier to do that instead of facing all that I found wrong with me and the world and learning to accept.
This year made me more conscious about my health. I have always had a shaky immune system, whereby getting sick was just easy and on top of that I do not like medication. You understand where my dilemma is, either I keep drugging myself when I fall ill or prevent it all together and do better. Healthy body, healthy mind, therefore happy me and no chance for corona. I also sought mental health assistance just to help me talk things through and help with things that I had been putting off. I have become more conscious of my environment and what surrounds me and how it makes me feel.
I have heard and seen people launch businesses in swimwear, jewellery, cooking/food packages etc. so many passion projects finally seeing the light of day and reminding us that success is possible in a pandemic. I have seen people achieving personal goals such as excelling on their YouTube channels or music careers etc. It is beautiful to see that there is a rainbow after every storm.
In other news, I turned 21 years old. It was not celebrated because June was still a time when corona was still a high risk issue and I can’t celebrate in any other month, it does not feel right to me . Anyways, the upside is that a few months later I got my first car (a year after getting my licence, so basically I became a learner again). I can’t help but think about my late granny, though. It is literally the one thing she really wanted, for me to drive her to the store one day. In this whole experience my responsibility intake is much higher, it is scary but such is life.
What is New Years without Resolutions? Abnormal. I came across this piece by GS
I think that making resolutions, goals or whatever you want to call it, “positive new habits”, is important. However it is common that we tend to forget them and then somewhere in the year we wonder “What happened?” So, hopefully that blog post above about ideas to make them stick helps in one way or another.
Before making anything stick, one should first know what is it that they want to stick? Health goals, business goals, academic goals, spiritual goals and/or financial goals etc. I personally think that achieving balance is what we need as humans, so why not make one goal in each sphere of life. Make sure they are S.M.A.R.T.!
My resolutions for you (more like my wishes for you) is that you find whatever it is that you have been looking for, could be peace, joy, love, forgiveness, work, family, strength, healing, literally anything! Just be clear about it.
On that note I wish you all a successful entry into the New Year of 2021, my best of wishes to you. You are loved and appreciated!
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Thank you for reading!