Heads up my birthday is coming up and I will officially be within my 20s. YES! I am turning 21 on the 13 JUNE!!
Why am I so excited, you ask? Because, why not!? Brilliant answer, right? I am allowed to be excited about my birthday coming up, but corona is an issue, and also 20 still felt like, if someone had to categorise me as a teenager I would be totally okay with it, because I still felt like one, I would legit forget my age sometimes. Okay, also people see me and think, “Awww, look at this 16 year old girl.” Of course, I would be like “B****, Black don’t crack!” (the first part in my head of course, I don’t want to be rude, haha). Anyways, let’s get back to the main topic.
Let me first, direct you to an oldie but still a goodie, Adolescent Years. A post I wrote last year to reflect on my teenage years. I think it was the best thing I ever wrote about so I recommend you read it and maybe you will connect with some of the things I wrote about.
So, I guess now I am about to add on by sharing with you some of the lessons that I have learnt and that I will probably be carrying with me for the rest of my life. I will sum up a lesson in a quote and then explain.
You think you know someone …A friend
Turns out people are not always what they seem. There are some skeletons and other scary things in their closets. And sometimes you find out at the most random time and it leaves you stunned and thinking “What happened? Were we not close? Did I do something wrong? I thought we were friends.” Wow, I actually love surprises but this one gets me every time. So I end up saying, “I only know what you have shown/told me and that might not be all of you but we can work towards that.” People come and go all the time, and it really is not always your fault.
The least expected people will surprise youDon’t know
There is no physical list but I think most of us have a “list” of most expected to help you and then one of least expected to help you. I don’t know or even think that I am the only one to have experienced that sometimes it is the people on the least expected list that end up helping you the most. Weird, right? Because in my mind, we are not that close, so there is absolutely no need to ask for help from one another. But these are the people that really surprise you in the best of ways because they have your best intentions at heart. I think that is beautiful.
The unfortunate part that I think about is “what are the “expected” people doing?” They are the ones who are on your list for a good reason, right? You built a solid relationship with them, you have done them multiple favours and supported them in their endeavours or you they straight up told you that they will be there for you when you need them. I don’t think it is a case of “high expectations” as some might call it, it is just basic expectations of any human that you are close with; and it should not be a “just take and never give” situation, because that is wrong. I think it is just how relationships work, just be there for one another and actually help, financially (donate for a good cause, and stop asking for family/friend discounts)*, physically (be at that performance, like their page/posts, share with others to spread the word about things)*, emotionally (check in and don’t let them give up)*. Are we not all in this hustle called life? Yes, we are! But why should I help you, as my friend or family, if you don’t think twice to not help me, vice versa, why should you expect help from friends or family, if you don’t think twice to help them? Questions to consider. *the () are just ideas
Some will. Some won’t. So what!? … If you need a helping hand, you’ll find it at the end of your arm …Some people I know
The sad truth, links with the previous lesson. I have said this before, “We are born alone. We will die alone. But that does not mean we have to live alone.” Sadly, not everyone gets that, so a lot of the time we resort to achieving success on our own. Sometimes this takes longer than it would if you just had some people to help you out.
The pissing thing is that everyone who turned you down, as soon as they see your success, they will come running asking for a slice of the cake. I do not recommend doing things on your own, but I very much do acknowledge that a lot of the time that will be the case, and we can’t be begging people to just notice that they can help, even in the smallest of ways.
Final thoughts …
Most people would know that I write about my life and my experiences knowing that I am not the only one who experiences these things. We are not experiencing everything in the same way, but I do aim for relatability, even if it is in one paragraph.
For over a year now, I have done it mostly by myself, because I like to try things on my own before seeing who can help me and how. So now I would like to go bigger, let’s see how big.
I am thankful for the amount of views I get on this blog (I look at the stats quite often). But could I possibly get some likes and comments on the actual blog (but thank you to those that take the time to send me private messages, I highly appreciate that). I want to turn this into an interactive space. Let me hear your thoughts, what are your important lessons that you have learnt? Do you agree or disagree with mine? Also if you can go to some of my older posts and start conversations in the comments there as well. I would highly appreciate it.
Let’s be #Royalty.
Truth be told sometimes I can be a hypocrite, i tend to act out of spite and that on its own has somewhat of an effect to the person I expect to be tomorrow or in the future you know. So this year I’m teaching myself how to give support to the ones around me, help them regardless of their status or what they may have done to me in the past..
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a beautiful thing to try to teach yourself. I would only suggest that you don’t strain yourself only do what you are able to do. You shouldn’t feel like you are losing energy.
Definitely relate to having to work by yourself. I think for me as I got older I started to put less expectations on other people. It’s made me stronger as an individual but until recently it was harder for me to ask for help or tell people when they were stepping out of line. Always important to find that balance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am glad you were able to find strength from all of that.
I 100% agree, balance is always good